St. Patricks Day

I once heard that St. Patrick was not Irish. Supposedly, he was black and this was to be ironic because stereotypically Irish people are racist.

My mom calls this 'reverse racism'. When she says this, it confuses me.

Racism is prejudice that members of one race are intrinsically superior to members of other races. Being Irish isn't a race, and based on this definition racism can't really be reversed.

I should mention, as an Italian woman, my mother doesn't particularly like Irish people - deeming them stoic overall. She fancies herself a passionate, soulful woman which I don’t disagree with. I do disagree with making declarations on an entire culture based on single interactions. I also think she doesn't really feel this way because is happily married to an Irish man - my father- for 40 years.

My mother also believes she is engaged in an "interracial marriage" because she married an Irish man. Whenever she says this, she uses air quotes.

I do not particularly like St. Patrick's Day.

Historically, St. Patrick's Day has been a catastrophe for me and the people of Throggs Neck - my hometown. One of the kids I went to grammar school got beaten to death at the parade, and people close to me tend to use the holiday as a chance to drink, drive, get arrested, break parole and... Well, I think I used to stay home on St. Patrick's Day just waiting for an awful phone call. Over the years, I learned that a watch pot does not make the water boil any faster, and waiting for bad news is not an efficient use of my time.

When I was underage, liked going to the parade because drinking made me feel badass. Badass was the look I was going for back then. Moreover, while I am still kinda going for that look, nowadays I just don’t want to be hung over at work. It gives me the jitters.

St. Patrick was born in Wales. An Irish Slave kidnapped him as a boy and brought him to Ireland. He was reared in Ireland and brought Catholicism to its people. I have no idea what this has to do with alcohol, except that Catholics have wine at communion. So why aren't people drinking mad vino?

Most of the churches I've been to, don't let the attendees drink the wine. In high school, I decided this was a herpes prevention tactic.

I would say "may the luck of the irish be with you" to end this blog, but I don't know any lucky Irish people - except myboyfriend who gets to live with me.